Lately, I’ve been trying to reconfigure how I think about things – focusing more on figuring out what little things never fail to make me smile or lift my spirits. When you’re caught in the grip of depression, even things that always manage to make you a bit happier never last for long, and over time it gets harder to remember those fleeting moments of happiness and easier to take them for granted when they do come around.
Part of my quest to get healthy means working on myself and doing the things that no healthcare professional can do for me, like teaching myself how to look at things from another angle. It’s not the first time in my life I’ve done this. When I was younger, I had two incidents of consciously adjusting my perception of the world. First, when someone I really loved and cherished told me that they didn’t want to know me anymore because I had made a comment without thinking that had offended them. Secondly, when I realised mid-twenties that I have an unhealthy temper and a tendency to overreact when I’m unhappy. In both cases, realising I was in the wrong and that I couldn’t have the kind of friendships I wanted with people because of those things was enough push to get me to reassess my behaviour towards others. I’ll never be perfect, but it’s something I’m conscious of now.
Depression, however, isn’t as easy to tackle in that way. Unfortunately, I can’t just say “right, I’m not going to be depressed today,” because it doesn’t work like that. At least, not at the depth I’ve sunk to. So, the next best thing, if I can’t change the bad inside, is to adjust how I view and experience the good things. I haven’t yet decided on the best way to do this (my head is so clouded with negativity that it’s often hard to remember that these things make me happy/feel good), perhaps I’ll try to tweet one a day or something. For today, I’ll post one of them here. I don’t think I’ll do them all in this format – what makes me happy and why – because I think it’s important that I stop associating good feelings with reasons; that is to say, I don’t need to have a reason to feel good about something, and the less reason there is behind it, the less likely my brain is to turn it around into something negative. So the goal is to think of something I like, that makes me happy, and not think about why because the “why” doesn’t matter.
So, here goes.
I love to smell good. Not like, spritzed with perfume smelling good (although perfume is lovely and I have some definite favourites) but rather when my skin smells good and I catch a whiff of it as I lift my arm. Or when my hair smells nice and it makes me smile every time I put my hair up or down.
I realised this one recently, as I just switched to a new shower gel and I really, really don’t like the smell of it on me. I’m longing for my favourite shower gel, Sanctuary Spa, but hate being wasteful so I’ll stick with the bad one for now. But it really made me realise how much I like it when I smell good and how I take those little moment of happiness for granted. And realising that led me to here, and to want to acknowledge more of those little moments in life.
Here’s to life’s little good things, and lots more of them!